The more perfect you try to appear on social media, the bigger the loser you probably are.
You know when you open the oven door and the heat waves flow past your head? That's roughly equivalent to the sensations provided courtesy of Arizona summer heat.
If I'm checking out a artist and I see that they consistently write songs over 2 minutes, I get very skeptical. Very skeptical indeed.
You probably hate my music, I probably hate your music. Mind if I play some tunes?
What's with this new chip reader thing? Can't I just swipe my debit card like normal?
If you get offended easily, you're an idiot.
I want to make a pilgrimage to all the In-N-Outs in history.
My favorite way to code is with the lights off and my shoes off.
I'm pretty sure I was trolling on the internet before that term existed.
I prefer the Michael Graves era Misfits over Glen Danzig era Misfits and I'm not ashamed to say it.
Either there's a ton of Misfits and Ramones fans out there in the wild, or a lot of people think the Misfits and the Ramones are a merely a hip clothing brand. I honestly I have no idea which one it is.
I believe 98% of people who "had someone give them a dirty look" are imagining things.
